The "rules" of optimising are a rhetorical device intended to dissuade novice programmers from cluttering up their programs with vain attempts at writing optimal code. They are:
It is uncertain at present, whether cute devices such as this have, or ever will, change any attitudes.
It changed mine.
Mine, too.
Source:
MichaelJackson used to say (when asked about optimization):
This is republished in JonBentley's ProgrammingPearls.
And lets not forget these famous quotes:
See: OptimizeLater, LazyOptimization, OptimizationUnitTest, OptimizationStories, http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?search=optimiz, UniformlySlowCode, CodeDepreciation, RulesOfOptimizationClub